Grief can bring on experiences that people often interpret as signs from loved ones who have passed. You catch your grandmother’s perfume drifting through an empty house. Your father’s presence seems to fill his garage while you’re sorting through his tools. You spin around expecting to see your spouse because you’re certain someone just walked into the room.
The pain of losing someone you love creates desperate longing. Bereavement Counselors say your brain refuses to accept they’re gone and keeps searching everywhere, scanning familiar places, listening for their voice, expecting their touch. This constant searching activates the neural patterns you built over years of loving them. Your mind recreates their presence because the alternative feels unbearable.
Some people interpret these moments as spiritual contact. Others see them as the brain trying to ease grief. Both perspectives make sense. These experiences connect you to someone who mattered deeply. They’re your mind’s way of refusing to let go when everything else has changed.
What These Experiences Are and Why They Happen
Psychologists call these “sensory and quasi-sensory experiences of the deceased.” About half of grieving people report them, though some studies say it’s even higher. The most common is feeling a loved one’s presence, but people also mention seeing glimpses or hearing familiar voices. These moments happen across every age, culture, and belief.
When someone you love dies, your brain treats that loss as a threat to survival and shifts into protective mode. But the psychological effects of grief are different from other types of stress. Deep attachments are wired into your brain, along with the quiet expectation that this person will always be there. Your mind memorizes their voice, the way they move, and how they fit into your daily life.
Those neural pathways stay active after someone dies. Your grieving brain keeps scanning for them, sometimes reading their presence into a creaking floorboard or shadow. Researcher Mary-Frances O’Connor calls this the “gone-but-also-everlasting” theory. Your brain runs on two competing streams of information. One side holds clear memories of the funeral. The other comes from your attachment system, which still expects them to be there.
Neurologists explain that the amygdala, which handles separation distress, becomes overactive after loss, sometimes making it feel as though your loved one is still nearby. When reminders appear, the nucleus accumbens reacts and brings a deep ache of longing. With these changes in the brain,it’s no surprise that people ask whether grief causes hallucinations or signs that feel almost real.
Fifty years ago, psychiatrists saw these moments as unhealthy grief needing treatment. Now they recognize them as normal responses to major loss. People make sense of identical experiences differently. Some see spiritual contact. Others recognize their grieving mind at work. Both acknowledge the same truth about longing for someone who has died.
How People Respond to These Moments
Most people are caught off guard the first time this happens. The moment could bring a rush of thoughts. Are these signs that a loved one is near after death? You might feel that you’re losing your mind, or wonder if grief has finally broken something inside you. The initial surprise can feel as intense as the moment itself.
These reactions are completely normal. When researchers at the University of Arizona interviewed 265 bereaved people about these experiences, they discovered how common they actually are. Nearly three-quarters felt the moments brought comfort and emotional healing, though 12% found they made their loved one’s absence feel more painful.
This mixed response explains why many people keep these experiences private at first. They might worry about family reactions or fear that friends will feel uncomfortable with such personal aspects of grief. Some hesitate to add to the burden during an already difficult time. Yet those who do share often discover others have had their own unexpected moments.
Most of these experiences require no professional intervention. They become concerning only when they cause persistent distress rather than comfort, or when they begin affecting daily functioning alongside other troubling symptoms. A grief counselor can help distinguish between typical responses and situations needing additional care.
When support becomes necessary, therapists typically use cognitive behavioral techniques adapted specifically for grief. Rather than trying to eliminate the experiences entirely, this approach helps people process them in ways that feel less distressing. The goal involves embracing grief mindfully rather than fighting it.
Read More: After Losing Her 6-Year-Old Son, She Received a Message That Changed Everything
Growing Through Continuing Bonds
After a loss, grief can bring feelings or moments that many people interpret as signs from loved ones. A person’s absence can take on a presence of its own. Their memory and influence continue to shape your life, sometimes showing up in moments that feel as real as their physical presence once did. This is what psychologists call the continuing bonds theory, which suggests that our relationships do not end with death, but instead the connection often continues in new and meaningful ways.
Some people find comfort in these experiences, while others can feel unsettled or confused. If these moments help you remember them or find peace, it is okay to accept them. If they bring you distress or make daily life harder, reaching out to someone you trust, or to a therapist, can help.
Over time, these moments can start to feel different. They may fade or return during anniversaries or important dates. But if you ever feel weighed down or unable to move forward, remember that support is available, and you do not have to face it alone.
Read More: ‘My Wife Of 52 Years Just Died. My Grief Is So Overwhelming, I Can Barely Cope’
